Antigone in 60 Seconds

[Disclaimer: May or may not take longer than 60 seconds]

I present Antigone by Sophocles, one of the classic Greek dramas, as interpreted by me in a snarky mood!
(In case you're not familiar with the story: Antigone and Ismene are sisters, Polynices is their dead brother, Creon is their uncle, Haemon is his son and Antigone's fiance, Eurydice is Creon's wife, Tiresias is a prophet, and the Chorus is a group of citizens who like watching everything and philosophizing.)  

Antigone: Help me bury our brother because our uncle said we can’t!
Ismene: No way!
Antigone: You’re lame! 

Chorus: Thank goodness that war is over!
Creon:  I’m king! Everyone be loyal to the state! Don’t you dare buy Polynices. 

Sentry: Promise it wasn’t me, but someone kind of sort of buried him.
Creon: *explodes* 

Sentry (brings back Antigone): She did it!
Antigone: Yep, I did. Let's debate our differing views on duty.

Ismene: I only have you, so I’ll die too.
Antigone: I’m mad at you, but fine.
Creon: Oh kill them already.

Haemon: Hi Dad.
Creon: Justice! The state! Discipline!
Haemon: Couldn’t agree more. Maybe you could let her go?
Creon: Idiot, why won’t you listen?
Haemon: Ditto. See ya. 

Chorus: Love, you’re lame. 

Antigone: Well this stinks. Let me sing my funeral song to mourn myself.
Creon: Oh go shut her in a tomb already.
Antigone: See what I get for being a good sister? 

Chorus: Wow, kind of like in mythology.

Tiresias: Not so smart, dude.
Creon: Shut up.
Tiresias: Fine, but you’re going to lose someone. See ya.
Creon: Ok, so maybe it wasn't so smart.
Chorus: So let her go.
Creon: I don’t want to…Oh fine. 

Chorus: Hey Dionysus, we could use some help. 

Messenger: Well, things just got worse.
Eurydice: Just tell me the worst.
Messenger: We buried the body, then went to get Antigone, but we found that she hanged herself. Haemon was there and tried to kill Creon, then killed himself in desperation. 

Creon: Guys, I messed up.

Messenger: It gets worse. The queen just killed herself. And she cursed you before she did.

Creon: “I am no one. Nothing.” 

Chorus: “The mighty words of the proud are paid in full with mighty blows of fate, and at long last those blows will teach us wisdom.” 

 *** 

(I must say, it got much harder to be snarky once everyone started killing themselves...)

This semester I am in a Play Writing class, which is definitely the best class I have! Combining writing and theatre - what's not to love? We just went through Antigone, and it was my first time reading it. Despite my goofy summary of it, and despite its darkness, I really did enjoy it. I loved the emotional conflicts and the contrasts between Antigone and Creon. Also for class, I made this chart plotting out Antigone's and Creon's emotional journeys next to each other. I stayed up way too late, but I had fun making it!

So there you have it - a little look into what I've been working on! I love this opportunity to learn more about theatre, to try my hand at it, to admire stories that have been classics for thousands of years, and to look at why some stories can stay with us for so long.